by Valery Kratovil
Here at VideoDunce, we love nothing more than to examine the weird aspects of video games. And it really doesn’t get much weirder than unnecessarily shoehorning celebrities into video games. Whether it’s to make the game relevant, to give the game some star power, or to make the game a little more realistic, celebrity appearances in video games are almost always head scratching. So, join us as we take a look at the ten weirdest celebrity appearances in video games
10. Pauly D and Vinny- NBA 2K13
We begin this list with people who really stretch the definition of the word “celebrity.” In NBA 2K13, a celebrity team was featured, including the likes of pint sized singer Justin Bieber, rapper Wale, has-been rapper Bow Wow, and the two most popular meatheads on the Jersey Shore, Pauly D and Vinny. The duo had decent stats, and managed to be pretty good at playing b-ball. But seeing that the pair has basically faded from the public eye following the cancellation of their guilty pleasure show, it may have been a bit short sighted to put them on the Celebrity team.
9. Susan Sarandon – Dishonored
I can’t envision Susan Sarandon in anything other than “Stepmom”. Dear God, I balled like a baby in that movie. Why couldn’t she and Julia Roberts’ character work things out sooner?! I’m putting this on the list for sheer randomness. What’s the star from “Thelma and Louise” doing voice overs in an apocalyptic steampunk PS3 and Xbox 360 game? It’s also worth noting that Carrie Fischer (the very Princess Leia that awoke so many strange and new feelings in us younger nerds) lends a voice in the game as well.
8. The Rock – Spy Hunter: Nowhere to Run
Dwayne Johnson contributed quite a bit with this third part of a mediocre series. He provided voice over for more than one character, and it was supposed to tie in somehow with a side-by-side movie release, but.. the movie never came out. What makes his cameo weird, however, is how kind his character sounds in game. He’s not yelling so loud that he’s spitting everywhere in the WWF ring. And he isn’t making some sarcastic, cringe-worthy joke at the camera as he reloads his assault rifle on the big screen. He sounds like a guy you’d have a cup of coffee with. He isn’t yelling/asking if we can smell what The Rock is cooking.
7. Drew Carey – The Sims: House Party
Welcome to The Sims, where you’re in total control and the well-being of your customized Sims is completely up to you. Seriously, these guys can’t take a shit without permission. But don’t you want THE coolest Sims in the neighborhood?! Of course you do, you narcissist. If you and your Sims throw the absolute coolest party that’s just crunk enough, a sleek black limo will pull up. It would seem as though party animal Drew Carey heard how turnt up things were getting and decided to come check it out.
6. Burt Reynolds – Saints Row: The Third
Burt Reynolds plays himself as the mayor of the town of Steelport. He first makes his appearance in the game during the mission “Zombie Attack”. The protagonist asks “Burt-fucking-Reynolds?!” in disbelief, to which Burt replies “Who else could keep this town running?” Oh, Burt. How true that is. Depending on actions in the game, you can make Burt your homie, have him re-elected for mayor, or kill him. But come on, who hasn’t dreamed of speeding their 80’s muscle car off into the sunset with Burt Reynolds?
5. The Burger King – Fight Night Round 3
This game definitely pushed the bounds on product placement, between eye sore Dodge ads littering the game to having the strange, retired Burger King mascot as your ring man. I could name one thousand people I would rather have in my corner than the Burger King. Scratch that, I have one hundred thousand people I would rather have in my corner than the Burger King. You’re able to have him as a personal trainer to your boxer. The only thing I see the Burger King training, is how to awkwardly offer you Burger King products with that silent, creepy stare.
4. General David Petraeus – Call of Duty: Black Ops 2
Who? You may be thinking to yourself. Remember that CIA Director who had an affair with his biographer? Yep, that’s him. About a week before the scandal broke, too. Awk. Ward. The mega EA Franchise put this game in a futuristic, cold-war, female President led new age warfare alternate-universe. If only the General’s slimy scandal had stayed in another universe.
3. Phil Collins – Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories
All hail the king of the 80’s. And to combine the GTA franchise with Phil Collins, well, it’s an honor to both as far as I’m concerned. Phil Collins plays himself, appearing in three missions in which he enlists the help of the main character to save a Genesis bandmate from gang trouble. Many famous voices lent a hand in the making of this game, but Phil gave both his voice and identity for Rockstar to play with. You even get tickets to a concert upon completion of a mission he offers!
2. Bill and Hillary Clinton – Ready 2 Rumble: Round 2
The Ready 2 Rumble boxing games have always been a little outrageous with their extra characters, but Bill and Hillary were president and first lady at the time of this games release. Hillary has a few scary lines. “The White House isn’t the only house I dominate!” She yells at one point. I think I even saw one of the veins on the side of her head bulge a bit during a close up. I can only imagine the terror Bill endured when Hillary found out about Monica.
1.Barack Obama – Mercenaries 2
To give credit, Barack Obama was only a potential president candidate. I mean, who would have ever had guessed that he’d actually make it into office? I guess that kind of rationale defends the actions his character takes in game. Our 44th murders an air traffic controller, hijacks a tank, and even fancies using a bazooka.